For about 18 months, I have been trying to figure out what will be the thing that will work for me? I recently discovered that during this time, since my youngest turned 1 year, I have gained over 30lbs. I am at the same weight I was at full term pregnancy almost 3 years ago. No wonder my shoulders ache, my lower back feels vulnerable, my knees hurt, and the knot of tension of trying to hold it all together in my diaphragm makes me feel like I can't breathe properly!
Until 3 days ago, I just couldn't figure out what would help me find my way back to a healthy weight. Since I'm still nursing, I have no desire to be on a "diet", and I am "waiting" to do a cleanse. As I work and study from home I haven't been able to find the time to get out to a yoga class, let alone an acupuncture appointment, anymore than a few times A YEAR! So all of my usual go-tos were not working for my new mommy lifestyle.
On Sunday night, my sister said: "Have I ever told you about Jorge Cruise? No, well I have his book 8-Minutes in the Morning, and I'll bring it to you at 7am tomorrow morning." If you know Kate, you know that things are SERIOUS when she says she'll "be right there". Jorge's program is based on an 8-minute strengthening workout, that provides an average weight-loss of 2lbs per week. It is done first thing in the morning, six days a week, for 4-weeks, and repeat. This? I can do.
She came, and we did the prescribed motivational rituals: measurements, 'before' photos, and just good old fashioned sisterly loving. My sister says I don't look that big, that I wear it well. I think it is kinda true, mostly because I have just bought bigger, looser clothing. But the experience of feeling this much over weight has been just awful.
It is easier to be optimistic now, that this is possible, and to be honest about all I can put behind me. I had distanced myself socially from people who are really fit, and I miss their company. I had felt bodily shame, and feared that my daughters would sense it, and learn it. I had loved myself less, and felt sad and confused by that. I had stopped sharing my knowledge of holistic health, which is my profession and passion.
It is not uncommon for carers and care-givers to fall into the habit of putting others first. However the price is too big to pay, and it is not sustainable. I'm glad to have found something that fits, that will help bring me back towards a position of leading by example and living my values in this area of my life.
In the hopes that it is inspiring, I'll blog about my 8-Minutes in the Morning, from time to time, with updates. Ok, here I go! This? I am doing.